Make Me Love You:
Public, Part One
Public, Part Two
Private

Damn, Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful.

And I want a cool nickname like Maggie the cat. Course, my name isn't Maggie, so that would be silly. But still.

And I have an insistent, horrid pain in my right temple, that has been there more or less constantly now for about two months. It wasn't terribly disturbing to me at first because I just have all sorts of weird headaches and eye problems and such all the damned time. If you recall, I had to have an MRI. And it told me exactly jack poopy about what the problem was.

But, when I was having the MRI, they put this mask on me that looked like a Hannibal Lecter mask. That was disturbing in more ways than I feel like expressing right now. It had a little slanted mirror in it that pointed out so I could see the room. And I kept wondering, was the purpose of the mask so that I could have the little mirror, or was it so that I wouldn't suddenly lunge out of the machine and start biting techs?

Before they put me into the machine, the lady asked me what radio station I wanted to listen to, and I told her. She looked at the machine, looked at me, and said, "Well, it's not on that station. Hope this one's okay," and jammed me into the tube.

Was that just to further torture me?

Because MRIs are not fun, when you don't like something right next to your face in an enclosed space.

Otherwise, I think they would be fine.

She told me I couldn't move my head at all while I was in there, but that if I spoke in a normal tone of voice she'd be able to hear me. Occasionally she'd talk to me through the headphones that were playing the most horrible music ever created directly into my brain.

And I thought she meant I couldn't move my head while the MRI was actually making the picture. It would knock and whir and growl, and then it would pause for a while, and then it would start up again, so I asked her if I could move my head when it wasn't actually doing anything.

She acted like I had asked if I could ingest live kittens. "No!" she screamed. She was either panicked or angry, I'm really not sure which. It didn't really matter to me anyway, because I had already decided she was crazy, after the whole radio station incident. "You can't move your head at all while you're in there! At all!!!"

I could see her in my little Hannibal mask mirror, and her face was all red and splotchy.

This is a woman who takes her MRIs very, veeeery seriously, folks.

I was in there for 45 minutes, and my head was bent at a funny angle the whole time. But dammit, I didn't move at all while I was in there.

Well. I moved my toes.

Anyway, the MRI showed nothing like a tumor or MS or anything they had decided to be suspicious of. My favorite was brain lesions. I couldn't figure out how I would have gotten brain lesions. Rubbing my head too hard on the wall?

Cause I like to do that, you know.

Heh.

So I wonder...what's this pain in my temple? Like I said, I wasn't concerned about it for a while but now I'm getting dizzy spells too. And I've never had a headache that stayed in one spot so consistently for so long.

I'm trying to blame it on my teeth, because I need my wisdom teeth pulled and another one needs a cavity filled.

Dizzy spells are just so annoying. Really. I am not a fan.

So. I had actually just planned to tell you all about how beautiful Liz Taylor is, but I sort of digressed, as I am wont to do.

I'll talk to all of you later, then.

Love in the afternoon,

-Mlle R