j u s t a l i t t l e g i r l l i v i n g i n a b i g g i r l w o r l d




Dirty Little Secrets:
Sordid Past
Current Abominations
Vices
Enabler




Make Me Love You:
Public, Part One
Public, Part Two
Private



<< regress : degenerate >>


Wednesday, November 14 2001 - 7:27 p.m.

Today, I paid my car payment, just barely on time. And I wore my red shirt. I only have one red shirt. And I drove to work and didn't swear at anyone. And I went with Pete to Arby's at lunchtime and I ate. And I did some work. A lot of work. But not enough work. And I drove home, and I swore once. And I ate dinner with Jason.

And here I am.

With a bunch of other stuff in between, too. But I just gave you the highlights there.

My headache is of the devil. I found Louise's Christmas present today.

Yes.

No happy stories, only this stuff.

There is a cafe next door to where I work, and in order to get from the back office to the front you have to pass by it. And every time, I am gripped with a nearly overwhelming urge to press myself against the window and look longingly at the people's food. Not because I'm hungry. Just to see what they'd do.

I had a dream last night that a guy broke into my house but was apprehended by my gardener. I don't have a gardener. I don't have a garden. What will I do if a guy breaks into my house?

This guy, in my dream, was in love with me. I cut him with a piece of jagged metal because he put his hand on my leg. And still he refused to move his hand, even as I was cutting him, because he was touching me. And that was more important than bleeding, I guess.

I know what you're thinking. Where the hell was my gardener during all of this?

That's what I'd like to know.

___________________________________

I have spiders in my eyelids.

And ghosts in the cheese.

With apologies to Lux Interior,

-Mlle R







Ich vermisse mich. Ich vermisse mein Haar.



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