Make Me Love You:
Public, Part One
Public, Part Two
Private

So I keep smelling odd things, at odd times, see. Brain tumor? What?

Today I have smelled:

* Pencil shavings
* Oreo cookies
* Silly Putty
* Cooking rice

When I say I smelled them, I don't mean I picked this stuff up and sniffed it, I mean I'm just sitting here at my computer and I just suddenly smelled Oreo cookies.

Which made me really want Oreo cookies, but dammit, that's not the point!

Also, I had this really bad stomachache (surprise, surprise) so I was laying, semi-comatose, in my bed, watching television. Did you know MTV plays videos now? I'm sure they all bite, but again, that's not the point!

I wonder what made them suddenly decide to do this. It's odd. It's so odd, in fact, that I actually watched two - count them - two videos in a row, just to prove to myself that The Real World vs. Really Offensive Celebrity Deathmatch wasn't going to suddenly start up.

The first video I saw was a rap video. I can't remember the artist's name, but it was a male. I was very amused by this video, because it featured a rooster with bulgy eyes saying like this, "oooo oooo..." over and over again. Roosters are funny. Almost like monkeys, I'd say.

I had a rooster once.

Well, he lived with me.

You can't ever really say you own a rooster. Their spirits are just too free.

The song was stupid (no offense to you oooo oooo fans out there). But I was rooster-whipped.

The second video I was lucky enough to witness was by a female, and it wasn't rap. I also don't remember her name. Sorry. But as near as I could tell, the song was about masturbating in an igloo. No, no really.

Missy Elliot was in it. I know who she is. She performed at the Medals Plaza, across the street from the Superstore during the Olympics. So yeah. I heard her. I know who she is. Are you proud?

In the song, Ms. Elliot's part was to say in a breathy voice, "Oooo, I looked good/[pause to rub breast furtively]I couldn't reject myself/ooo..."

Disclaimer: The above lyrics are paraphrasing. I didn't stop to write them down or anything. You get the idea.

After that, I knew I couldn't be satisfied with anything else TV had to offer. I turned it off.

Excitement! So much so that I have to lay down now!

After I make a doctor's appointment. I'll talk to you all later.

-Mlle R